Happy birthday to my cutie niece...
Here's our gift for you...
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Saturday, November 03, 2012
...DOWN...
warning!!! this post is full of rants...
at my lowest point, i guess!!!
our life is never perfect and unexpected things come to put us on a test...
feeling so low these past few days and the sad part is that i have nobody to talk to except for this blog... so let's rewind and get back to 2010 when i resigned from work... quitting my job was one of the hardest decision i've made, god knows how much i love my job and if only i can keep it forever... unfortunate incidents happens and because i'm weak during the time it strikes i easily gave up... it breaks my heart into pieces as i submit myself that this is it, i have to let go... i guess i have trusted the wrong people, those whom i thought will be at my side to back me up and help me to give a good fight... it proved me wrong as they left me on mid-air during the time i need them most... one thing i've learned is that don't always give your all and always keep something for yourself so that at the end of the battle you can still walk away with your head up high... and this is where it all began, got depressed because i've given my all for the sake of my job but i guess my effort has not been recognized...
fast forward, it's been 2 years and yet i am still struggling to be ok... i admit i'm still suffering from depression and self pity and i don't know when i'll get over it... i feel so incomplete as if there are pieces of the puzzle missing... i don't know which road i want to take, i'm lost... i'm living my life inside a box, restricted to four corners... i know that my life needs total modification starting from letting go of the past... the question is, am i ready? to be honest, no i'm not... my life is full of holes that i believe i have to patch first...
a loner... yes i am though i have friends...
i am a introvert, a private person in some way... i tend to handle problems on my own and never tell anyone about what i am going through... i may sound weird or selfish but that's me, i'm such a good keeper... looks happy from the outside but complicated from inside, that's me... covering life gaps through material things is not always a perfect idea, i've done that and it's just temporary solution... somebody ask, why don't you seek help from friends, oh well as much as i want to i still want to keep my personal problems private or let's just say that i haven't met the right person to be called as my best friend... don't get me wrong, my husband is my best friend but there are circumstances that you want to seek advice about your marriage, then a third party who's not involve in the relationship will be a good option, right?!? opening my book to others seems to be difficult, i'm afraid to be misjudged by them, i'd rather cry in a corner...
anyway, i guess i've ranted too much for today...
our life is never perfect and unexpected things come to put us on a test...
feeling so low these past few days and the sad part is that i have nobody to talk to except for this blog... so let's rewind and get back to 2010 when i resigned from work... quitting my job was one of the hardest decision i've made, god knows how much i love my job and if only i can keep it forever... unfortunate incidents happens and because i'm weak during the time it strikes i easily gave up... it breaks my heart into pieces as i submit myself that this is it, i have to let go... i guess i have trusted the wrong people, those whom i thought will be at my side to back me up and help me to give a good fight... it proved me wrong as they left me on mid-air during the time i need them most... one thing i've learned is that don't always give your all and always keep something for yourself so that at the end of the battle you can still walk away with your head up high... and this is where it all began, got depressed because i've given my all for the sake of my job but i guess my effort has not been recognized...
fast forward, it's been 2 years and yet i am still struggling to be ok... i admit i'm still suffering from depression and self pity and i don't know when i'll get over it... i feel so incomplete as if there are pieces of the puzzle missing... i don't know which road i want to take, i'm lost... i'm living my life inside a box, restricted to four corners... i know that my life needs total modification starting from letting go of the past... the question is, am i ready? to be honest, no i'm not... my life is full of holes that i believe i have to patch first...
a loner... yes i am though i have friends...
i am a introvert, a private person in some way... i tend to handle problems on my own and never tell anyone about what i am going through... i may sound weird or selfish but that's me, i'm such a good keeper... looks happy from the outside but complicated from inside, that's me... covering life gaps through material things is not always a perfect idea, i've done that and it's just temporary solution... somebody ask, why don't you seek help from friends, oh well as much as i want to i still want to keep my personal problems private or let's just say that i haven't met the right person to be called as my best friend... don't get me wrong, my husband is my best friend but there are circumstances that you want to seek advice about your marriage, then a third party who's not involve in the relationship will be a good option, right?!? opening my book to others seems to be difficult, i'm afraid to be misjudged by them, i'd rather cry in a corner...
anyway, i guess i've ranted too much for today...
I know that soon things will be OK...
Thank God for giving a super supportive husband ---> iloveyouhoney ;-)
waiting for the rainbow to come my way...
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