To BeLiEvE oR nOt...

When we talk about future predictions, the first thing that will cross our mind is a fortune teller. Do you believe in them?

Well, I had seen and consulted a fortune teller maybe twice in my life and it was only for fun. The first one happened in 1993, mom visited a fortune teller then and out of curiosity I did give it a try. The fortune teller read my future using ordinary playing cards. I am not into it so I did not give much attention so I was left with only few things to remember. I was been told that I will be able to finish my degree in college, will be able to go abroad, will be married at the later age, will have kids at age of 32-35, those are the few things that I can still recall. I never thought that it will eventually happen, I finished my degree with flying colors and I am already working abroad, got hitched at the later age, though the 4th one hasn’t happened yet.

My 2nd encounter was in 2002 it’s an office colleague of mine who happens to have the ability to tell your future by reading your palm lines. I did give it a try for I want to know if what she will say will happen in the future. Well, she didn’t fail me, it did happen, and I was in awe when I do recall what she had predicted. It happened not only once either twice but I guess it is the 3rd time. It’s kind of weird because I don’t really believe in what the fortune teller says. Though I should have taken it as an early warning sign instead, well it’s already too late...

In the past centuries fortune-telling is considered as a sin and there have been religious groups who are against it. Should we believe in fortune-telling?

tHe E--------- RiNg...

Traditionally, an engagement ring is a must in every wedding proposal. Would you believe that I received my engagement ring after being married for 3 years? Maybe you’re wondering how it happened when every wedding proposal comes along with a stunning diamond ring. Sorry but our case is not one of those fairy tale stories.

See, we’ve been steady for 9 ½ years before we got hitched and through those years we already know that we’ll end up together. So settling down is always part of our plan, thinking how to make it happen, until we’re able to save up for our simple wedding. Engagement ring was never a need then due to financial constraint, our only concern is the wedding expenses. And to think that my fiancé then was never into or not fond of doing surprises, so I’ve never expected anything sweet or special will happen. Anyways, the wedding went fine though there are some glitches but over all it turn out well.

Few months after our wedding, I kept on teasing and asking him where the hell my engagement ring is, he’ll always answer me with a sweet smile. I used to bother him once in a while, until lately he got sick and tired of me pestering him to give me one so while we're strolling inside the mall he dragged me to a jewelry shop and ask me to choose what I want. I was really surprised, and I end up asking him if he’s indeed serious about it, well he smiled at me and said “you deserve to have one”. I was totally speechless and so ecstatic. Then I finally choose a simple 18k yellow gold with 3 -- 0.25 carat diamond stones. Expensive ring is not a must it’s the LOVE that goes with it.

I am one happy gal… As the old cliché goes “it’s better late than never”.

rAmAdAn 2009...

RAMADAN KAREEM!!!

My SoUr FiRsT oN iT's 2nd...

It’s been 2 grueling months since that fateful incident happened last 18th June 2009 (Thursday). I lie if I’ll say I’m over it, well I guess I will never be. From time to time it keeps on flashing back, all the sour words fired keeps on taunting me just like a sharp dagger stabs me. How I wish it’s easy to forget but I find it really hard. I get easily affected whenever I see somebody from their origin because it makes me feel awkward and aloof for I assume that they might cause me trouble again. It’s the first time it happened to me and will never let it happen again for I can’t afford to handle another pain which I don’t deserve and I am not liable of.

All along I still have this fear knowing that nothing is impossible that anytime something good or bad will come up. Even if I tried to fool myself that things will slowly be back to what it used to be but I guess I have to stop fooling myself. Those hurting words still tortures me and stopping me to act normal again. Believe me I tried but whenever related instances appear to happen I tend to move 10 steps backwards to ensure that I’ll be at least away from danger. It would be better to eliminate those past negative incidents which turned to a chaotic situation.

Why I can’t leave this issue behind since it’s already part of the past and stop myself making a fuss out of it? See, all first things that happened in our lives are categorized as unforgettable although sometimes we prentend to forget but it will always remain down our memory lane. Let’s admit, we all have our own first experience in life may it be good or bad we still have to accept it as our first. Having your first will always be part of your life story. Tell me have you ever forget your first boyfriend/girlfriend, first date, first kiss, first embarrassing moment, first happy experience, first travel, first ride on a plane, first heart break, first lie and the list for first goes on and on and will never stop as we journey to life. So I believe I’m one ordinary human who never forget her first although embarrassing and humiliating but it is still my first. You may forget what comes in between but first will always remain first. But then again, my point of view may be different or contradicting to others but what the heck that’s what I believe and I will stand for it.

My statements may be appalling but I guess we’re born to have different opinions and beliefs in life.

All First in Life will never be forgotten, so I guess that fateful incident will always be remembered...

eXpReSs YoUrSeLf...

Most of them noticed that I express myself best through writing, true enough.

A short background how it all started, way back in high school I was then enrolled in an exclusive school for girls. In our school, we have this so called “ON” thing, I’m sure if you had experienced an all girls school you can probably relate on what I am saying. On my own view, let me explain the term “ON”, it’s like a BF--GF thing but the difference is that it’s a girlfriend--girlfriend thing (GF--GF) but it doesn’t mean that we’re lesbian because we’re not. “ON” is meant to have a steady companion or let’s simply say a buddy. I have an “ON” then, though not that serious and I can say that it’s not as complicated as having a BF because we only communicate and express ourselves thru writing and nothing more than that given that we also celebrate monthsary and anniversary. We mainly exchange letters, so imagine almost everyday I used to write a letter to keep our communication on going and I have done that round the clock for almost 2 years. The relationship doesn’t involve obligations and it’s only the piece of paper that keeps you tied. So this is where it all began, the culprit why writing is my best medium in terms of expression.
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“This is only my opinion about “ON”, others might object maybe because there are certain levels or classifications with regards to GF--GF relationship”.

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Until I graduated from that “ON” thing and finally moved on to have a BF. It wasn’t easy to adjust though I hadn’t change my style, I still write what I want to say and never been vocal at all because I thought writing was something usual in a relationship. In the past, my relationships failed because I’ve never been vocal, imagine each relationship ended thru a scribbled note. I have not experience any formal break up, as in talking face to face starting from my first BF down to the last. I find talking more strenuous than writing. Funny thing is I can write iloveyou but I don’t have the courage to utter those words, but now it stands corrected I can say it to hubby anytime I want and I’m proud of it, hubby can attest to that.

Now it’s still the same though in a different way --- texting or email. When I am overly angry, I’ll just be quiet but wait ‘til your mobile beeps, you might receive a nasty message coming from me (at least I’m not a nagger who never stops talking – LoL!). I guess it’s already too late for me to change my style because I’ve been used to it and those people have tolerated my wrong approach. I admit this isn’t right I should have the voice to express myself (come on, consider this blog as my voice).

I will stand to be who I am and not what they want me to be...

This is how I express myself, so take it or leave it?!?

It's good to be true...

hArD tO sAy BuT eAsY tO sPeLL…

YES and NO is easier to spell than to say…

More often I find it hard to say YES or NO as an answer. All I know is that my tongue gets tied whenever there’ll be a need for YES or NO answer rather I can hastily answer Let's see or Will try. Maybe it’s pure anxiousness that manipulates me and stops me from answering YES or NO. I haven’t changed this attitude since god knows when, maybe I am just reeling myself out of a certain obligation or expectation by others whom I don’t have the heart to see them be disappointed or have them feel rejected. On the other hand, I may not be ready (or will never be ready) to face the consequences it entails --- I’m such a dum-dum. I don’t know if this attitude is acceptable, all I know is that I haven’t changed this behavior of mine for ages.

Just to give an example, back in 1996 my then BF (now husband) and I suddenly broke up. He then painstakingly didn’t waste time and immediately start to patch up things. And while he’s in the midst of trying to win me back he almost gave up, because I always keep him puzzled and never get any solid answer neither a hint from me. Until one day for the Nth time, he ask me if I still love him and would there be chances to start all over again. Knowing myself, I will simply ignore it and let it pass but upon hearing those, I suddenly felt something strange and from his words I can feel sincerity and unknowingly finding myself having a thought about it. Since I have this dilemma in using YES or NO as an answer, what I did was, I answered him with a gentle smack on his cheek. He was surprised, so am I, and then he asked what does it mean? I told him it depends on how he will interpret it. As it goes, he perceived it as a YES which is correct. Honestly, until now we keep on teasing each other because we’re still puzzled how we get back together without me saying YES.

As I analyze things, I can say that I lack self confidence. Maybe because when I was a child I wasn’t exposed socially. I mean, I always regard myself as different from others or let’s say that they are way better than me on every aspect. Until now my ego hasn’t changed and I just hope it hasn’t gone worse. I may sound a little eerie but this is all about me, myself and I.

How I wish that saying YES and NO is as easy as how you spell it…

goodbye... CoRy AqUiNo...

To our beloved Former Philippine President

Maria Corazon “Cory” Cojuangco Aquino

January 25, 1933 – August 1, 20009

glitter-graphics.com
We thank you for being a good mother for the FILIPINO NATION
Because of you we're PROUD TO BE A FILIPINO

Today you’ll be laid to rest but your legacy remains and will always live in our HEARTS
Our last salute to a brave lady who fought for justice and democracy for the country

Farewell Madam Cory, May your soul rest in peace…
In the name of Almighty God the Father, Amen…

DrEaMiNg...

Hubby and I have tons of dreams in life (we all do), yet we don’t know how to get started to have those dreams come true. As the culprit of much delay in fulfilling one of our numerous dreams --- busy work schedule of my beloved husband, I can’t blame him though because we need bread and butter to make our dreams possible.

Anyways, one of those dreams is to travel and see the world. We’ve allotted some of our saving for this for I want it to be grand and unforgettable one. I’ll be over the moon in case this will come into reality. For quite sometime we delayed this plan due to global financial crisis and decided to pull it off for the meantime. Now I have to start pestering hubby to get back in groove and do some move to have this overdue plan push thru. I want it now for I badly need a break to hibernate, it will be a plus factor if the place will be something new, so as to have a thrill in exploring it. We haven’t decided yet where to go, though I have started to do some research where the best place to go and easiest to explore in a matter of week, yup-yup a week may do, a quick escape is enough to cover my/our crappy life thingies. We already have places in mind but still there are lots of factors to be considered before finally deciding where exactly our final destination will be, simply because we want this to be something special. Just thinking of it, makes me more excited, how I wish things will be easier and hassle free this time around.

I thought my dreams of having -blah-blah-blah-blah-and-so-on-and-so-forth- are merely dreams, but it seems things swiftly changed and I have to admit that now I do believe that dreams do come true (though aren’t smooth and perfect) especially if this dream to travel will transpire. I believe through hard work, perseverance and strong belief, dreams can be achieved. Things are slowly starting to roll as I envisioned it to be, we’re already in the verge of discussion --- (Crossed fingers) --- hope not to encounter any hindrance.

Well if this is only a dream, please don’t even attempt to wake me up, let me relish this happy momentum.

See yah when I wake up… tah-tah!!!