UpSeT...

I hate it when I am pushed to cram, I just feel bad about it. Call me naïve for being such a freak but I can’t bear with the adrenalin rush caused by panic attack. This is the reason why I feel terribly bad today as if my head is overly heavy.
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I am the type of person who wants to deal with things ahead of time or accomplish things right on the dot and hassle free. But this time around it seems that things aren’t cooperating well enough to catch a deadline, I just hope that this ain’t a bad sign for I am not ready to see my hopes falling apart. How I wish that things simply fall according to one’s plan so there’ll be no failures and disappointments but the sad truth is plans is meant to be a plan and it can swiftly change anytime.

We have this overdue plan to go overseas and guess what --- a million times we failed, I hate pointing fingers rather it's better to stop expecting that it will not happen anytime soon, oh well I have to start swallowing the sour truth. I will be living in vain if our vacation plans will be trashed, it will be a total twist of what I have expected (I hate expectation) and my excitement starts to tarnish.

I am upset about the sudden turn of plans, I already lost eagerness…

For now, all I want to do is to SCREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM…

edited on 14.09.2009;

Feeling a little better now, as the husband say's "why dwell and ruin your mood with things you don't have the hands to maneuver when all you have to do is be grateful of what you have and enjoy life ” yah right, I think I should start to teach myself to take things lightly, if it's meant to happen, it will happen and if not there's always next time...

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Today might not be the right time, so tell me how long i have to wait --- AGAIN...