How I wish I am numb for I hate what I am feeling right now… What’s happening is really mind blowing and I can’t get away with that… Just when I thought that things will be ironed out very soon, well i guess my presumption is wrong --- I hate my stupid thoughts because it tends to break my emotions… Am I stupid? I damn hate it when negativity eats my conk head… This time I am at point blank --- so shoot me… I want to scream and bang my head just to get back on my senses and wake up from this nightmare… I am starting to hate myself for I know that I have loosened up… All I know is that I am torn --- tell me what else I can do…
This is too much, if only I can do magic I’d love to disappear right now…
For now, all I can do is to keep my freaking mouth shut… darn it --- I hate regretting…
This is too much, if only I can do magic I’d love to disappear right now…
For now, all I can do is to keep my freaking mouth shut… darn it --- I hate regretting…
4 comments:
hi maanne,
been a little bored of doing some design review, I decided to check your blog.
as i was just trying to hook some words on your previous blog, here you are again for a new one. it's kinda intriguing what is happening to you right now.
being a fan of the grunge rock band Nirvana, i immediately connected a phrase to your blog title. Nirvana has a song titled I HATE MYSELF AND I WANNA DIE. this is only for your info, ok. i know that the last four words are not actions within your personality.
getting back to your blog, i am still trying to decipher what is really happening to you right now. all i can say is, be strong. guess, times like this happen to any individuals. and this things are just reminders that we are not perfect.
i too had to collect my senses one time during my stint in one project in manila. imagine, am trying to stop work without even checking with my superiors. the result, i had to endure the daily slurs of my colleagues and even to the other guys on site because of my blunder. i was really thinking how matters transpired prior to that incident. and how stupid i was then to let that happen. but i guess, i can't change what had already happened.
as the saying goes, "there's no other way but up". so what i did i had promised myself that i would never do that again, if in any case the same situation occur.
on a positive note, that thing made me a more mature individual especially when it comes to work and I reckon am reaping some rewards out of it. it only goes to show that there are always two sides of a coin.
be strong. hold on. just always do what is right. fear no individual, just fear God. ok.
ngapala,
salamat dun sa reply mo dun sa feb 2008 blog mo.
hi, kapusong totoo, i just want to thank you for all the advices, though we really don't know each other... i admire you for being straight forward...
i know how puzzled you are, so am i! sometimes it's the mood that pushes me to write things eventhough i know that i would give a negative impression to my lurkers... and because this is my personal journal, i want to be loud and bold of what i feel even if the feeling stays for a while or long... yah you're right i should always take things as a challenge or rather learn from my mistakes...
by the way, do have a blogger account, seems i can't find it, i just want to check it out, im sure it'll be more interesting to read than mine... would you mind if i'll ask which side of the world are you from... quite curious about you 'coz you've been following my blog lately which is way extraordinary...
give me ur link, ok...
ingat po and god bless!
Thanks for all the good advices, i'll try to take things lightly...
hi maanne,
i never thought it will be way extraordinary to follow your blog, didn't know that.
being a newbie on reading blogs, i just find your posts interesting. isn't i told uthat i just chance upon your blog because am just looking for expats who wear FMCC shirts.
i find your blog interesting because you always share your ups and downs in life, which i can say have somewhat refreshed my struggles before. i admire you and your husband for being able to show much love for each other during trying times.
with regards to which part of the world am in to. am currently here in dubai with my wife and daughter.
apologies for not having a personal blog. i just love to read and share with the blogger.
have a nice day.
hi there! thanks for following my blog... it's extraordinary in a sense that lurkers does not stick to a certain blog most of the time... though i am happy to know that you find it interesting, which makes me want to blog mnore...
why don't you try to create 1, this might be a good way to document your growing family...
good to know that you're also from dubai :-)
take care and regards to your wife and kiddo...
god bless!
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